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Nov. 25th, 2006

office

A Nice Dinner Out

We just returned from dinner at The Herbfarm. It'll be a while before we've completely returned to Earth.

The food was excellent, the service was flawless and friendly, the décor was pleasant and amusing, the music (classical guitar) was performed by a member of The Royal Conservatory of Madrid, and the atmosphere was lively and cheerful without being boisterous. We're seriously contemplating making this a regular outing.

Our menu: )

The food was all prepared with local, in-season ingredients. All of the fresh herbs used were grown on-site. The turkey in the salad was an heirloom species raised specifically for The Herbfarm. The pinot noir was produced exclusively for The Herbfarm as well. The 1863 Madeira was a nice touch for a dinner in the Thanksgiving season: 1863 was the year President Lincoln declared the annual Thanksgiving tradition (before that time, the holiday was declared on an irregular basis).

And on top of all this, between courses we ventured out into the garden to visit the restaurant's two pigs, Basil and Borage. Though we didn't participate, others who were there at the same time brought out small buckets of food for them. They're apparently being trained on scented food for careers as truffle-hunting pigs.

Oct. 27th, 2006

office

Olbermann

Keith Olbermann is the closest thing we've got to Edward R. Murrow. May he be as influential, for the dangers we face are greater in many respects than in Murrow's time.

Oct. 6th, 2006

office

Garrison Keillor and the 65 names

I posted this over at my Vox journal, but I thought it would be important to post it here as well.

Please read Garrison Keillor's editorial now.

Sep. 18th, 2006

caveman

Slow, Shy, Loyal

Now, this was unexpected. I took the "Which Sesame Street Character Are You?" test:
 
Once again, I'm an odd one -- note the "99%"s at the end. I'm willing to believe that's a bug in the scoring system, though.

Sep. 10th, 2006

office

Anybody get the number of that truck?

I'm lying in bed at an odd angle, with my head propped up against the wall. I have a gash down the right side of the back of my neck, held together at the moment with an elaborate network of adhesives and polymers. My hair's been shaved partway up the back of my head, and what's still there is caked with blood and Betadine. Some of the hair on my face has been shaved as well.

I have a series of painful scabs circling my head from where the crown-o-thorns (ok, the cervical stabilisation halo) was temporarily fastened to my skull. There's a shaved patch on the back of my right leg, above the knee, where they apparently laid in a femoral IV line. I also have two sores, one on my upper lip, and one on my lower, where they were abraded by the ventilation tube down my throat.

Every motion of my head, and most motions of my shoulders, remind me that I really shouldn't be moving my head and shoulders that much just yet. I can stand and walk, with great care, as long as my head is perfectly balanced over my spine. The thick muscles in the back of my neck that usually stabilise my head are in shreds at the moment, so while I can lean back and hold my head up, I can't lean forward without a) losing the alignment of my head and neck and b) screaming in intense pain. I rely on my dexterous toes to pick things up from the floor (no, really, it's very handy to be able to grasp things with my toes).

Perhaps most inconveniently, my intestines have basically gone on holiday, what with the anesthesia and the massive amount of morphine I've consumed over the last couple days. It's quite a chore to wake them up again.

Don't have surgery, if you can avoid it. Sure, it's done aseptically these days, and much less invasively than before, but it still comes down to cutting you open and poking around inside with knives.

On the upside, if I can be so bold as to imagine one, the bone spur in my spine which was pinching the nerves in my right arm and hand is gone (for now). My grip strength in my right hand is back on par with my left, except for some minor muscular atrophy. And if I can get through the next few days with the help of a little Percocet, I'll be able to get around pretty well soon enough.

Right now I'm looking forward to being able to sit in a chair, roll over in my sleep without applying for a permit in triplicate first, and put on a shirt without assistance. All things in time.

Thanks very much to everyone who has called or written to wish me well. It's much appreciated. I won't be online much for a week or so (writing this note has taken much time and more energy), but I do read email on my phone throughout the day.

Jul. 28th, 2006

office

sleepless near Seattle

It's 3:14am (pi time! wish I had some pie...). I'm unable to sleep, due to the combination of neuralgia from the bone spur in my neck, lingering migraine headaches and nausea from the myelogram earlier in the week, and the side effects of the bizarre cocktail of drugs I've been taking to keep all of the above barely under control. I'm no stranger to insomnia, having fought with it most of my life. It's been dramatically better since I moved to Washington, but lately the heat and my medical conditions have canceled my ticket on the Dreamland Express.

I find myself feeling very isolated and lonely at the moment. Not lonely in the "nobody loves meeee" sense, but simple loneliness from sitting in a rather dark room alone in the middle of the night. I find myself wishing for a local bar, say, one a block away or so. I could pull on some clothes and take a short walk, and be in a rather dark room in the middle of the night with other folks who are also awake (for whatever individual reason). I could talk to the bartender, at least to order something, and probably chat up someone at the bar as well. It wouldn't necessarily make me feel any better, but it would go a ways toward helping me move my focus off myself, which is unfortunately where it tends to settle in my current surroundings.

That puts me in mind of the last time I was in Las Vegas. You're never more than half a block away from your choice of bars in Las Vegas, and very often they're as close as the other end of an elevator ride. I've never been one for "bar culture", but there was something vaguely comforting about the proximity of clusters of life in the middle of the often-sleepless night. There were many times in Vegas I'd be sleepless, for one reason or another, and I'd simply walk down to the casino bar, or sit in the nickle slot rooms, and while away my time nursing a drink and gambling tiny sums of money. There's a soothing sense that arises for me in the pure anonymity of a Vegas casino, like a fuzzy blanket that helps me relax. Yes, I know I'm under intense surveillance from the moment I step across the threshold. But there are only two kinds of people I find in casinos: the public, there to gamble, who don't give a damn what I do, and the staff, there to assist me in transferring my money to the casino, who *also* don't give a damn what I do as long as it doesn't break any house rules.

Perhaps it's the gambling that does it. Sometimes when I'm insomniac, I'll play Hold-'Em in an online card room (from a computer in Washington! Call the cops, I'm a felon!) or dabble with a video casino simulator. The minor (or in the case of poker, major) analytic effort required to gamble helps keep me distracted, and it's usually not long before I'm able to sleep, if only from sheer exhaustion.

That must be it. It's the engagement I miss, on wakeful nights like these. When all is quiet and still and dark, and sleep won't come, there's nothing to engage in my environment. So I naturally check into LiveJournal, and indulge in a little time-shifted engagement. By the time anyone reads this, I might actually be asleep.

At least, I hope so.

Jul. 19th, 2006

office

(no subject)

I've been trying to avoid posting anything about it here, but at this hour, all I can say is: pain sucks. big time.

Jun. 3rd, 2006

beast

um...

You scored as Beast. Beast is an intelligent, politcal spokesman for the X-Men. He has a Ph.D in Genetics and is well versed in literature. He may look like a blue fuzzy monster, but deep down he's very benevolent and logical. Powers: Enhanced strength and agility

Beast

 
90%

Jean Grey

 
85%

Wolverine

 
60%

Cyclops

 
50%

Storm

 
50%

Rogue

 
45%

Colossus

 
45%

Iceman

 
40%

Nightcrawler

 
35%

Emma Frost

 
25%

Gambit

 
25%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Well, it's a good picture, at least.

PS: After seeing this on several other friends' journals, I just noticed that I matched at 90%. Other folks seem to be matching their highest at 65%-80% or so.

Apr. 27th, 2006

caveman

from darkness to light

I just received notice of the "Out of the Darkness Overnight" walkathon to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As I'm no longer in the San Francisco area (nor, for that matter, the Chicago area), I'd like to take this opportunity to ask anyone who reads this journal and happens to be near one of the events to consider participating. I'd be happy to contribute to your walk, and I'll even make this bonus offer: I'll throw in extra (separately) to help offset the "registration fee" (which is non-tax-deductible and essentially helps pay for the organization and support of the event itself).

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention funds research grants help discover the causes of, and means to prevent, suicide in the United States. According to Charity Navigator, they score reasonably well on efficiency and capacity.

I know how it feels to not want to be alive anymore. I managed to survive it, and I want others to be able to do so as well.

Apr. 26th, 2006

office

mind games

A recent discussion brought up the following:

I take it as a given that there is variation not only in the occurrence of transcendent experiences (what many call "religious" or "spiritual" experiences), but in the capacity to experience them. That is, while it's obvious that some (many?) people have transcendent experiences and others don't, I propose that this is due to some innate ability or lack thereof. As my only real argument, I offer myself: I've pursued many routes to such experiences, each of which claims to be virtually foolproof in inducing them (unfortunately, I haven't been able to try out Michael Persinger's transcranial magnetic temporal lobe stimulation), and so far, zilch. The aforementioned Dr. Persinger's research indicates that there may be such thing as a "talent" for transcendent experience, which I may well simply lack. Other researchers have uncovered similar clues in other studies.

I also take it as a given that despite the wide variety of transcendent experience, there exists a core universal *response* to such experiences. I feel that response is best described as "mythologizing": the formation and application of myths to experience. This certainly seems appropriate; after all, a transcendent experience by its definition exceeds the boundaries of one's capacity to reason.

So the question that arose from all this was "is the propensity to mythologize universal, and only widely employed by those capable of transcendent experience, or is it somehow functionally (or causally) related to that capability?" In other words, if I (who we will for the moment assume is currently incapable of transcendent experience) were to somehow have one anyway, would I be inclined to mythologize it (mythologism is a universal response) or would I rationalise it (mythologism is connected with transcendent capacity)?

I find it a hard question to analyse, since it's possible that I've got cause and effect switched. It's possible that one's capacity to experience transcendence is related to one's ability or inclination to mythologize. That is, what I've been labelling "transcendent experience" is the visceral response to sensory input or patterns of brain activity that cannot be reconciled with one's current conceptual models. In that case, those trained to rapidly reorganise those models to accommodate the new input (the process of rationalisation) may completely miss the visceral response, since the input is never perceived as "strange" (only "new").

I don't have much in the way of insight to offer, but at least the questions are interesting.

Apr. 1st, 2006

office

(no subject)

I started to write a bit of a rant here, and suddenly realized, "why bother?"

There's nothing that can be done to improve the situation I was going to rant about, and just spewing bile online helps no one. Ah, me. Would that I were buddhist so I could follow the way of non-attachment; or judeo-christian-muslim, so that I could ponder my reward after death; or scientologist, so that I'd lack two brain cells to rub together -- then I might not feel the way I do.

As is, though, I'm in a funk.

Oh, by the way -- capsule update: [info]lokipup and I live in Washington now, not far from Seattle. He accepted a job offer at Microsoft that was too good to pass up. The cats have just about settled in, and I'm not far behind them.

Aug. 3rd, 2005

office

uncle sam wants you to drive a hummer

just learned something I find unsettling: there's a significant tax break for extremely large SUVs.

the law is apparently intended to assist small businesses (like independent truckers) in purchasing large trucks for business use. but the way it's written, anyone self-employed (say, a lawyer or consultant) can get the tax credit (up to US$25,000 plus accelerated depreciation) on any vehicle over 6000lbs, as long as it's used more than 50% for business purposes (like driving to see clients).

of course, it wasn't always like this.

in 2003, the tax credit was up to US$100,000. the credit was reduced in the autumn of 2004, but included a special "bonus depreciation" of 30% of the price above US$20,000 for that year's purchases.

so the US government is essentially paying many people to buy SUVs. the amount of that payoff is substantially more than the price of a regular compact car (certainly more than the price of my car). it's substantially more than the price of a hybrid car, which is generally higher than gas-powered cars.

hybrid cars, by the way, also qualify for a tax break. it runs US$1500, and will decrease by 25% per year.

which vehicle would your tax accountant recommend?

May. 6th, 2005

office

whaddaya wanna do tonight, brain?

as some of you may know, [info]lokipup  and I have two cats, bear and tiger. bear has long black fur and is very shy. tiger has short orange stripy fur and is very...not shy. they're about a year and a half old (they're litter-mates), and they're very personable. they're also apparently little evil geniuses in cat suits.

the other day, we were startled by a loud banging noise in the kitchen. when we went to check, we discovered the cats (both of them) were playing with the cabinet doors. they liked the noise they made, so they were flipping them open and letting them slam shut. we chased them out and that was that. later on we found that they'd discovered how to actually open the cabinet doors, and we'd find cabinets throughout the house (under sinks, in the kitchen, everywhere) standing open. we resigned ourselves to our new role of door-closers, and figured that was the end of it.

not long ago we heard another startling noise, this time from the bedroom. it was a continuous thumping sound, kind of like the door-banging we'd heard before, but more muffled. on investigation, we found the cabinet door under the sink closed, so we opened it...and out popped bear. he'd managed to open the door, climbed inside to go exploring, and then couldn't find his way out again. ok, we reasoned, he's learned his lesson. nope -- the next day he'd done it again.

at least we know which one's pinky.

so we bought a set of those childproof cabinet latches, and installed them on the cabinet doors, specifically to keep them out of the noxious stuff under the kitchen sink. it only took a few tries before they realized the doors were no fun anymore, and they're not as interested in door-opening anymore. mission accomplished!

now they've moved on.

we came home from work this evening, and as we were entering the house, putting down bags, hanging up keys, and such, we heard something strange. the TV was on. neither of us recalled leaving the TV on when we left for work, so we went to check.

bear was laying on the sofa, head propped up on a folded blanket, with the remote control at his paw. the TV was tuned to a cooking show, which he was watching with great interest.

now we've got couch potato kitties.

Jan. 9th, 2005

office

Warning about Dollar Rent-a-Car

I just pulled my credit file from equifax (you can too, at http://www.annualcreditreport.com/ -- at least in some states, with more soon). to my surprise, there was a credit inquiry (the "bad" kind, the kind that counts against your credit score) on it...from dollar rent-a-car.

I rented a car from dollar in anaheim in december. I paid for it with my debit card, the same card I use to pay for just about everything. they ran the card without question, and when the bill was paid, we left with our car for the weekend. what I didn't know until tonight was that because I paid with a debit card, they ran a credit check on me through equifax before allowing the rental. apparently, since they weren't dealing with an existing creditor, they decided to become my direct creditor for the "loan" of the car.

sneaky.

I found out about this policy by checking google for "dollar rental car credit inquiry". I got back this page: http://www.epinions.com/content_164540812932. it's interesting reading. our counter experience was much better, but this business of credit inquiries is a little disturbing. if I were renting a car each week (not unreasonable, were I doing a lot of travelling, say on business) and using a debit card to pay (again not unreasonable, as many small businesses use debit cards to manage expenses), I could rack up quite a few credit inquiries...easily enough to lower my score significantly.

I'm willing to believe that I agreed to the inquiry (there's an awful lot of tiny print on those agreements you sign), but not making it more apparent that they're pulling my entire credit file is more than a bit dishonest -- renting a car doesn't carry the reasonable assumption of a credit check.

keep this in mind when you're renting a car next.

as for me, dollar's off the list.

Nov. 13th, 2004

office

whew

ok, now that that's over...

this posting is just to let all the folks reading this journal (both of you) know that:
  • I recently found employment,
  • I've completed my first two weeks at the new job,
  • and I've received my first paycheck.
that whooshing sound you hear is three years' worth of "whew!"

now let's see if I can keep this one.

Nov. 7th, 2004

avatar

(no subject)

ok, folks...strange request. if you could, please let me know when I met you, and where I was at the time -- and if you know where I was living then, that would be very handy.

no, I haven't suddenly suffered a bout of amnesia (at least, no more than usual). rather, I need to put together a detailed chronology of my employment and residence stretching back to 1986. and I find that much of my life (especially everything more than about five years ago) is lost in a dense fog. I've been poring over old paper records in my files, piecing together locations and times, but it's still pretty patchy. I'd appreciate any help anyone could give.

Oct. 20th, 2004

caveman

(no subject)

I don't expect anyone reading this journal understands or cares what I'm talking about here, but I have to get this down on some semi-permanent medium, just because it's bugging me so.

I've read several analyses of "zero-sum economics", as well as several rebuttals to it from free-market capitalists. so far, the two best arguments against zero-sum economics are "subjective value" and "improved efficiency of production". the former is intriguing, but the latter doesn't make any sense to me at all.

"improved efficiency of production" is usually described by example. a commonly stated one is the production of food: the switch from hunter-gather existence to agricultural involved improving the ability to produce food in a given place-time. over the millennia, new technologies in agriculture have continuously improved this ability, which in effect increases the amount of arable land for food production. this technology is described as "created wealth", since it improved production with no increase in resources consumed. this, say the free-marketers, shows that know-how (an intangible) can create wealth from nothing, and therefore economics can't be a zero-sum game.

but there's something missing in that analysis. the technology of agriculture isn't a magic spell that somehow makes the same "agricultural inputs" produce more "outputs". the vast majority of agri-tech consists of novel ways of moving resources from one place to another, or from one time to another (usually from the future to the present). the remainder of the technologies involve waste reduction, or improved recycling. if we restrict our discussion of agriculture (for the moment) to plant cultivation, we find that the only real "input" to the biosystem is sunlight, which arrives at a fairly steady rate. the other materials required for cultivation (water, genetic material and trace nutrients) are available in fixed amounts here, and the manipulation of the reservoirs of these materials constitutes the whole of agri-tech.

we can, therefore, model an "ideal" agricultural environment, in which the frictional inefficiencies of plant cultivation are reduced to insignificance. in that model, we achieve an ideal plant production, based on the most efficient means of recycling "fixed" materials, and the measured fixed input of sunlight. in this model, the only driving force is that daily budget of sunlight, and as that is fixed, there can be no further growth in production efficiency. also, this hypothetical model requires that all terms be balanced, that is, drains on the system (the consumption of food) can not change with time. so in this future end-game, the human population must be fixed, and agricultural expansion must grind to a halt. while the system can then shift to a new equilibrium, the total amount of energy extracted by the process (that required for the plants to grow, and that consumed by "upstream" consumers) cannot change. in short, while not a true zero-sum game (due to the continuous influx of energy from the sun), it is at least not an infinitely-expanding game.

so what does this mean for wealth creation? if we consider the agricultural model exclusively, it means that "creating" wealth is not an unending process. there is some fixed upper limit to this wealth, and while we can "create" wealth up to that limit (a better term might be "uncover" or "expose" wealth), any expansion beyond that point must be undertaken as "borrowing against the future" (since production can never catch up with the overconsumption). bucky fuller pointed this out as "miniaturisation", his term for maximising efficiency of a technology process. he claimed that miniaturisation was the only means of wealth creation, and that it was driven by an exponential increase in "know-how", or science and technology. he posited that the ultimate goal of miniaturisation was to allow our daily energy budget (solar influx) to drive all our life needs on earth (that is, reach that hypothetical maximum-efficiency steady state).

in short, the "increased efficiency of production" is a temporary phenomenon, and in fact its ultimate expression will only bring us to a break-even point, where our energy expenditure equals our income. while it's true that our daily energy income is prodigious, we're not particularly good at measuring our energy expenditures, so it's hard to have something to compare it to. for example, what are the energy expenditures for growing an acre of wheat? the obvious measures would be the energy required to cultivate the field, move the irrigation water, and harvest the plants. however, we also have to add in the energy costs of producing, transporting, and applying any soil amendments or crop treatments; the cost of producing, collecting, processing, storing, and redistributing the seed material (most cultivated crops are annuals, and the vast majority of commercial cultivation uses sterile hybrids that cannot seed themselves); the energy costs of water transport (evaporation of runoff, as well as the production of weather systems to move it to wherever the irrigation system picks it up); and the energy costs of dealing with the un-consumable portions of the plants (either in processing for immediate recycling, or in processing and transport for remote recycling).

much of this cost is "opportunity cost": cost incurred due to lost ability to utilize it elsewhere (for example, it takes enormous stretches of land and ocean -- a huge fraction of the planet's surface -- doing nothing but soaking up sunlight and re-radiating the heat to generate sufficient weather to run the planet's water cycle). also, we must consider the cost (in terms of future opportunity cost) of resources "consumed" by waste and damage caused by the normal functioning of technology. for example, the technologies of fertilization and irrigation allow previously "marginal" land to be cultivated, which theoretically increases the availability of arable land. this would seem to imply that for a given fixed area (like the united states), with a mix of arable and non-arable land, one can continuously convert the non-arable land to cultivation through the application of agri-tech. however, fertilization and irrigation don't create arable land, they simply concentrate resources. those resources usually come from other marginal land, rendering it (usually) unusable for any other purpose.

so we see that in a fixed area of land, there exists a fixed set of resources, and as long as cultivation requires a certain level of resources to work, there exists a fixed "amount" of arable land. "creating" it on marginal land creates an equivalent amount of sacrifice land, which cannot be used. if that sacrifice land were purposed exclusively for non agricultural use, then a certain balance might be achieved, but not an infinite expansion of arable land, or even a complete conversion of all marginal land to usability. in practice, however, naturally arable land is usually considered highly desirable for non-agricultural purposes, further reducing the actual productive area.

this entry was rather long, but I'm trying to work out how the free-market idea of "increased efficiency of production" can possibly work. so far, I'm not seeing it. unfortunately, the concept of "wealth creation" (which relies on increased efficiency of production to operate) is central to almost every economic process on the planet today, which means that the traditional view of "continuously growing economies" is on shaky ground, in my view. if someone can explain where the thermodynamic demon is operating in all this, and where I'm missing some fundamental piece of logic or information, I'd appreciate the help. this is keeping me up nights.

Oct. 18th, 2004

caveman

(no subject)

How common are umuhk's interests
Universal
none
Popular
cooking (80297)
philosophy (70218)
Common
cowboy bebop (27045)
disney (23711)
motorcycles (14681)
stories (12917)
x-men (20728)
Specialist
archery (6920)
flute (9140)
language (6739)
Unusual
growl (52)
grunt (37)
neanderthals (75)
primal (156)
rhythm (921)
Rare
mythogenesis (2)

Enter username:

InterestRank was bought to you by _imran_ and MemeLand.org


I note that some of the "popularity bands" contain related items: "common" contains all my media-related entries, "unusual" contains all my neanderthal-related entries, and "specialist" contains all the entries relating to things I'm studying.

Oct. 15th, 2004

avatar

what makes YOU so special?

meme originally from [info]chefxh by way of [info]moofedct with modifications by [info]lokipup (whew!).


name a musician (or genre) whose CDs (more than one) you own that no one on your friends list does:

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one here who listens to zydeco, although I don't actually have two zydeco CDs by the same artist. so I'll say yoko kanno, the composer who wrote the music for cowboy bebop, since I have the CD box set.


name an author (or subject) whose books (more than one) you own that no one on your friends list does:

hmm...this one's tough because I don't really own a lot of books, and very very few by the same authors. but I'll go out on a limb and say scott mccloud, since I have both understanding comics and revinventing comics.


name an actor or director (or genre) whose movies (more than one) you own that no one on your friends list does:

another toughie, since I also don't own many movies. but I do have the entire collection of cowboy bebop, including the movie knocking on heaven's door.


name a place you visit occasionally that no one else on your friends list has been:

ok, now I'm completely at a loss. [info]lokipup goes pretty much everywhere I do, but even discounting him, I just don't do a lot of interesting travel anymore. um...how about salinas, CA, where my mom lives?

Oct. 4th, 2004

office

(no subject)

After more than three years of looking for work, I've come to the painful conclusion that no one is likely to hire me to do what I used to do years ago. so, if I expect to be employed again someday, I'll need to figure out who will hire me, and for what.

over a year ago, I took some "career assessment" tests, and the results weren't very helpful. things haven't changed much in the last year. I've tried to take inventory of my skills, but I don't actually seem to have any skills besides being clever and observant.

everyone out there in LJ-land, what do you think?

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